On the first day after release my developer gave to me a performance problem on a crucial query On the second day after release my developer gave to me 2 deadlocked queries and a performance problem on a crucial query On the third day after release my developer gave to me 3 failed backups 2 deadlocked queries and a performance problem on a crucial query On the fourth day after release my developer gave to me 4 secondary replicas 3 failed backups 2 deadlocked queries and a performance problem on a crucial query On the fifth day after release my developer gave to me 5 missed permissions 4 secondary replicas 3 failed backups 2 deadlocked queries and a performance problem on a crucial query On the sixth day after release my developer gave to me 6 indexed views 5 missed permissions 4 secondary replicas 3 failed backups 2 deadlocked queries and a performance problem on a crucial query On the seventh day after release my developer gave to me 7 schema changes 6 indexed views 5 missed permissions 4 secondary replicas 3 failed backups 2 deadlocked queries and a performance problem on a crucial query On the eighth day after release my developer gave to me 8 gigs of ram 7 schema changes 6 indexed views 5 missed permissions 4 secondary replicas 3 failed backups 2 deadlocked queries and a performance problem on a crucial query On the ninth day after release my developer gave to me 9 stored procedures 8 gigs of ram 7 schema changes 6 indexed views 5 missed permissions 4 secondary replicas 3 failed backups 2 deadlocked queries and a performance problem on a crucial query On the tenth day after release my developer gave to me 10 sparse columns 9 stored procedures 8 gigs of ram 7 schema changes 6 indexed views 5 missed permissions 4 secondary replicas 3 failed backups 2 deadlocked queries and a performance problem on a crucial query On the eleventh day after release my developer gave to me 11 urgent pages 10 sparse columns 9 stored procedures 8 gigs of ram 7 schema changes 6 indexed views 5 missed permissions 4 secondary replicas 3 failed backups 2 deadlocked queries and a performance problem on a crucial query On the twelfth day after release my developer gave to me 12 CPUs 11 urgent pages 10 sparse columns 9 stored procedures 8 gigs of ram 7 schema changes 6 indexed views 5 missed permissions 4 secondary replicas 3 failed backups 2 deadlocked queries and a performance problem that we finally solved Filed under: DBA Humor , SQLServerPedia Syndication Tagged: Humor
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